


No Matter What We Do

by NovelistAngel23



Series: Superposition [1]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Cultural Differences, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pre-Time Skip, Promises, School Dances
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-06
Updated: 2019-09-06
Packaged: 2020-10-06 20:55:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20513363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NovelistAngel23/pseuds/NovelistAngel23
Summary: Dedue felt out of place at the ball, but he never felt out of place with Ashe.





	No Matter What We Do

Dedue had known he would feel out of place at the ball long before it began. Everyone seemed very happy, dancing around each other, weaving along to the elegant music. Everyone wore their best, girls in gorgeous dresses, hair pinned up with pearls and gems; men in their finery, gaudy rings bearing their Crest on their thumbs.

In Duscur, they didn’t have balls like this. They had parties, feasts, where everyone danced in groups, arms hooked around each other, laughter on their lips. There, he’d felt free to smile and indulge in the comfort, the spices on the air, taking his sister’s hand and twirling into the dance.

Here, Dedue felt even more stiff than he usually did, his back straight as an arrow, his arms behind his back like a soldier at attention. He didn’t feel welcome--not entirely through any fault of his classmates, though there were always a few that grimaced or even sneered as he passed by. He just felt… wrong. Like he didn’t belong there, an intruder in a special event not meant for him.

Dimitri had encouraged him to go, though Dedue could see from his expression that Dimitri didn’t want to attend either. As the future king, it was simply expected of him. He had no choice but to go, to keep up appearances. Even so, as Dedue watched the proceedings, he couldn’t help thinking Dimitri looked every bit the perfect prince, smiling intimately at each person he twirled with on the dancefloor.

Everyone else seemed much the same, easily blending into the festivities whether they wanted to or not. Ingrid, always with her bright smile, despite how her heels clearly pinched; Annette and Mercedes giggling with each other as they stood by the dessert table; Sylvain being rejected by more girls than accepted, Felix rolling his eyes at him every time he pouted.

Dedue’s eyes searched the crowd for one last familiar face, the smallest, freckled and soft. He found it--him--looking out at the dancefloor with a flush on his face and his eyebrows knitted. Ashe looked… nice, all things considered. He seemed uncomfortable, pulling at the collar of his dress shirt, rocking back and forth on his heels, looking for all intents and purposes like a frightened rabbit set to flee at the slightest jolt. But he looked nice even so, well-dressed, with his usually messy hair pulled back behind one ear.

Dedue hoped his presence wouldn’t be the jolt that sent him scurrying, weaving through the crowd to stand beside him. Thankfully, that wasn’t the case. Ashe caught him approaching out of the corner of his eye and grinned brightly as Dedue reached his side. “Y-you look handsome, Dedue!” he praised, his eyes flickering over his formal clothing for a brief moment before meeting his gaze again.

Dedue inclined his head and said, “As do you.”

Ashe was one of the few who didn’t seem to mind his subdued responses. He seemed to understand that Dedue never spoke more than was necessary and was content to fill the silence with his own chatter. He did so this time too, crossing his arms behind his back the same way Dedue had. “I-I’ve never been to one of these things…” he admitted, his smile falling into a frown again. “My brother… My older brother, Christophe… He went to them all the time, and he always said they were so much fun, but I…”

Dedue hummed thoughtfully as Ashe’s voice trailed off. Ashe liked to speak of his younger siblings quite often--his mischievous sister, his gentle brother. He rarely, if ever, mentioned his adoptive brother, and even less so after Lord Lonato’s death. Dedue assumed it was a sore spot. He recalled, after he lost his family, he rarely spoke of them either. The wound too fresh. Too raw.

But Ashe opened his mouth and continued after a minute of silence, saying, “I-it’s because I’m a commoner. Lonato, he adopted me, but my origin is still… I’m not…” He looked up at Dedue, a vulnerable glint to his pale eyes. “You know, I don’t have a Crest, o-or even come from a bloodline with one. I’m just some kid he picked up off the street… So Christophe, his real son, he was the one who had to go to balls and keep up appearances for the family.”

He went quiet again, chewing on his lower lip and looking at everyone dancing. Dedue wondered why he seemed so eager to talk, but the conclusion wasn’t too difficult to ascertain. He was nervous, and when Ashe got nervous, he tended to speak. He would turn red, his freckles standing out against the bright color, and he’d avert his gaze and giggle awkwardly, and _ talk _. About anything and everything. Dedue had grown used to it in the months they’d known each other. He would chatter while they cooked, chatter while they studied. It was almost calming for Dedue, his voice like the ticking of a clock or the pitter patter of rain against a window.

“You know… I was supposed to go to one, once,” Ashe whispered, his voice almost inaudible above the din of conversation and the orchestra. Dedue didn’t notice when he leaned in closer to hear him, not until Ashe turned to him again, and their faces were very close.

Ashe flushed with heat, so close that Dedue nearly felt it on his cheeks, and then he laughed and stepped back. “Um… Do you want to get some air?” Ashe asked.

Dedue simply nodded, and then to his surprise, Ashe reached over and grabbed his hand.

He let Ashe wrap his thin fingers around Dedue’s own, allowed Ashe to drag him past the dancefloor and outside into the courtyard, where only a few people milled about. A few couples walked side by side, women with their heads tucked into the shoulder of their lovers. Ashe didn’t stop there though, his small but insistent grip tugging Dedue past the courtyard and further, across the bridge that led towards the chapel which was quiet and still compared to the party they’d left behind.

The wind was cool in Dedue’s hair, sending a chill through him, but Ashe’s little hand was more than enough warmth to keep him from shivering. He squeezed it, earning a shy smile in return. Soon, they stood in the chapel, staring up at the silent organ covered in moonlight that dripped in like some holy waterfall.

Dedue didn’t worship Sothis, the goddess of Fodlan. Duscur had its own pantheon, its own beliefs, and though he’d never felt quite as strong a connection to them as his mother had, whenever he thought about something holy, they were the ones his mind drifted to.

Ashe, however… He could see the awe on Ashe’s face as he looked up at the majesty of the chapel, studied the stained glass above their heads. He let go of Dedue’s hand and twirled in a slow circle, his hair curling out of its combed style, shining in the moonlight. For a moment, Dedue was struck by his beauty.

A child of Sothis. That’s what people of Fodlan called particularly beautiful people. Shards of the star that fell to their highest mountain and blessed the land with her generosity. A child of Sothis was a gift, a pinprick of her light, like the sunset or rise on the horizon.

Ashe was a child of Sothis.

“It was a few months before school started,” Ashe whispered, his voice so loud in the silent cathedral. Dedue stood at attention again, watching the back of his head as he looked all the way up. “Lonato took me aside and told me that he loved me as if I were his own, and that as his oldest son, I was set to inherit the family name.”

His voice trembled now, and he walked out of the moonlight. He sank into a pew, looking down at the floor now. “I told him I couldn’t… I told him I wasn’t worthy of it, a-and he looked so hurt. He tried to tell me… Tried to tell me that I--” He choked on his words and curled into a ball on the pew. “But I didn’t listen to him. I told him I couldn’t, and I walked away. Now I’m here, and Lonato is dead, a-and--”

He started to cry. Dedue could only tell by the way his shoulders trembled. Ashe, for all his ability to chatter, was a very quiet crier.

Dedue took steady steps towards him, sinking into the pew beside him. He was careful not to touch him, putting his hands on his knees instead and looking up at the stained glass ceiling. He wasn’t quite sure what to say. It was so rare that Ashe cried in front of him--in front of anyone, if he were to be honest. Everyone liked to say Ashe was a sweet, cheerful person, the kind with no worries.

It wasn’t true. No one worried about more things than Ashe. He even worried about burdens that weren't his own to carry. Dedue wondered if he were the only one privy to this side of him.

No, surely not… Ashe had stood in the chapel for days after Lonato’s death, begging the goddess for answers and forgiveness. He’d trembled so hard each of those days, unable to concentrate on any of his work, barely even able to stomach any food. Surely Dedue wasn’t the only one who’d noticed that. Dedue was hard-pressed to find any friends among their classmates, but Ashe had them--had many, even. His personality was contagious.

But even so, Ashe was openly sobbing now, and he'd chosen Dedue to be there beside him through it.

“The last time I spoke to my mother,” Dedue found himself whispering, “I forgot to tell her that I loved her.”

Ashe’s trembling and crying paused, only for a moment, but it was enough for Dedue to be sure he should continue.

“We hadn’t had a pleasant conversation. It wasn’t an argument… but I no longer recall why I left the house frowning,” he said, and though his voice didn’t tremble like Ashe’s, he felt the knot in his throat. “I was upset. I didn’t tell her that I loved her. In fact… I don’t remember the last time I told her such.”

He usually didn’t talk so much. He didn’t enjoy talking. He liked to be straightforward--to get to the point. There was such precious little time to waste talking. He’d learned to say what he meant, when he meant it.

He wished he’d known that before.

Ashe’s crying had slowed to a stop, and now he was looking at Dedue with big eyes. They were shiny and wet with tears, his cheeks splotchy red. Snot had gathered around his tiny nose, wet and sticky from being rubbed away too many times. Dedue looked down at him and met his gaze.

“I’m sorry,” Ashe whispered. “I didn’t know…”

Dedue shook his head and let his hand move across the pew to cup over Ashe’s. “We cannot always be expected to say the right thing. We are only human. We can’t predict the future.”

Ashe sniffled, the sound loud in the empty chapel. Dedue felt his hand flip over underneath his. His lithe fingers laced in between Dedue’s large and thick ones, his fingertips smooth, the joints frail. “Thank you… for telling me that,” Ashe whispered.

Though his face was still strained from crying, his smile was as warm and comforting as ever. Dedue felt a surge of pride wash through him. He so rarely made others smile. Usually, it didn’t matter to him, and he didn’t make much of an effort anyway. His mere existence made others frown.

But not Ashe. Never Ashe.

They sat together in silence for what seemed like a very long time. The silence was so complete, Dedue could almost hear the music of the ball seeping in from far behind them. For the first time since the night began, he felt an urge to join the festivities, to take Ashe’s waist in one hand and lead him in a dance.

But he didn’t know how to dance like they did in Fodlan. He’d never felt embarrassed about not understanding Fodlan’s traditions before.

“Oh!” Ashe suddenly gasped, shooting to his feet. Dedue looked up at him, at his wide smile as he wiped the sticky leftover tears from his eyes. “Dedue, will you come with me? I want to show you something.”

Dedue didn’t protest, allowed Ashe to take his hand again and lead him out through the side of the chapel. There, the coldness returned in full force, but he ignored it, letting Ashe pull him along. They came to a tower, one that rose high above them, piercing the sky, encircled by tree branches. The Goddess Tower, he’d heard it called. Students weren’t allowed inside, but that didn’t stop Ashe from kneeling down before the locked door.

Dedue watched as Ashe pulled a thin piece of wire from his pocket and pressed it into the lock, maneuvering it around with expert precision. Soon there was a click, and the door swung open. Ashe dusted off his knees as he rose to his feet. “Um… tada?”

Dedue almost laughed. He huffed it out through his nose, and when Ashe heard it, he seemed to take it as praise, his smile widening. He turned backwards as he walked inside, arms behind his back. “I actually heard a story about this place…”

The inside of the tower was as cool as the outside had been, but here the air was damp enough that every time Dedue breathed out, his breath hung in the air as fog. Ashe’s voice echoed down the stairs as he walked ahead and out of sight. He continued, “A long time ago, a woman walked up these stairs. She was a commoner, but a student of the Officer’s Academy.”

Dedue followed him up the spiraling staircase, only catching glimpses of his back as he hurried around and around. “She came here to get away from the ball too, all the way up the stairs, to the top…”

Just as Ashe said it, Dedue stepped foot on the final flight of the tower. It wasn’t a large room, thick walls made of damp black stone making it seem even smaller. Mossy branches stretched across the ceiling, nearly hitting Dedue’s head. He ducked under one and saw Ashe standing at a window, staring out over the entire monastery. From here, it all looked so small. Ashe leaned against the sill, a longing expression on his face.

“Oh!” he gasped as Dedue came to stand beside him. He smiled sheepishly and scooted over so that Dedue might lean against the sill as well. He looked again, his gaze softer than before. "Sorry I rushed on ahead…"

“Your story,” Dedue asked. "You didn't finish." He wasn't sure why he was curious to hear more. It wasn’t the kind of story he usually cared to listen to--nor the kind of story Ashe usually told.

But even so, Ashe seemed excited to finish it. He grinned. “Well… when she got to the top, she found a handsome man standing there, and the two talked for hours. They became close very fast, and when the sun began to rise, they took each other’s hand and prayed to the goddess that they would be able to stay together forever.”

Ashe went quiet again, a blush creeping onto his cheeks. Dedue didn’t know what to say to the story. He supposed most people found it very romantic, but he only thought it foolish. To pledge one’s life and future to someone because of one lovely conversation?

Well… perhaps that was hypocritical of him. After all, he’d devoted his life to Dimitri after one instance of kindness. But he knew it was a kindness that could only be repaid with his life.

Still Ashe’s blush told Dedue that he didn’t think the story was foolish at all.

Dedue asked, “What happened to them?”

Ashe perked up at the question, his smile turning sweet. “According to legend, it turned out, the man was the Adrestian emperor. They got married after she graduated and lived happily ever after, and the common girl never knew hardship again.”

He giggled a little, his eyes glinting in the moonlight. “Now they say that--on the night of the ball--if a man and woman make a wish here together, it’ll certainly come true.”

Dedue doubted it, but Ashe seemed so excited by the idea, he couldn’t bear to burst his bubble. Perhaps there was a possibility, somehow. After all, he knew very little about Fodlan’s goddess. Perhaps she was more powerful and involved in her subjects’ lives than he knew.

“Um… Dedue…?”

Dedue turned from his thoughts to look at Ashe gazing up at him. He seemed very nervous. “W-well, I know we’re not a man and a woman, but I was thinking… maybe if we made a wish here together, maybe it would come true.”

The way he asked, tugging nervously at his fingers, biting his lip hard enough to bruise, his eyebrows furrowed over his pale green eyes. It was endearing. Most people were frightened or angry around Dedue--only Ashe had ever seemed nervous in this way.

It seemed Ashe was special to Dedue in so many ways.

“What would we wish for?” Dedue asked, staring down intently at Ashe.

He decided he would wish for whatever Ashe wanted. His grandiose longings, dreams of a Faerghus where his people were not despised and spat upon, those were so far and long away. He thought this wish deserved intimacy. Some small, special thing they could hold onto together. Some small promise that--if the goddess could not hear it--they could make come true on their own.

Ashe didn’t seem to have an idea in mind either. He looked up at Dedue and then down at his shoes again, and then out through the window. “We could… well, we could…” He swallowed hard and then looked up at Dedue again, his cheeks red with blush. “Let’s just keep it simple? Let’s wish… that we could meet here again someday. No! That we’ll always be together, no matter what happens.”

He held out his hand to Dedue as if to shake on it, but Dedue hesitated to take it. He didn’t know what the future held for him. He only knew that whatever path Dimitri tred, he would follow beside him, before him, a wall to protect the future king.

But Dimitri had a deep darkness inside of him, a rage nurtured by trauma, and Dedue didn’t know that his future was bright enough for someone like Ashe to safely follow. How could he condemn Ashe to being by his side forever?

He saw how Ashe’s smile trembled, realizing Dedue didn’t seem content with this wish. He nearly lowered his hand, but Dedue caught it. He held it fast between his own, big and encompassing. “Ashe… I cannot promise my future is worth sharing. But I can promise that no matter what happens… I will not forget you or the time we spent together.”

Ashe shook his head, eyebrows furrowed with worry. “Dedue… Neither of us can know what the future holds. You said so yourself, right? We can’t predict that. B-but I want to be your--uh, y-your friend… I want to be your friend through it all.”

Dedue nearly smiled at the sincerity of Ashe’s confession. He had such an earnestness to him. He had such an innocence. He knew Ashe had seen hardship, experienced it first hand, suffering on the streets with tiny mouths to feed--and yet he had such hope for a future they could share.

It was a contagious thought, a cold of the head that Dedue didn’t mind catching. He searched Ashe’s eyes for any hint of hesitation and, finding none, said, “I want to be yours as well.”

Ashe’s blush returned full force, as bright as the pink sunrise, and he wriggled his hand out of Dedue’s grasp. “Th-then it’s settled! You and I will be together forever, no matter what the future holds.”

He turned to the window again and closed his eyes tight, leaning halfway out into the cool night air. “Dear Goddess… if you can hear me, I just have one thing to ask for. Please, let Dedue stay with me forever. I’ll fight for him and fight with him, and we can become knights together and cook the best food. I think we’d be really good together.” He opened his eyes and leaned back before gasping as if he’d forgotten something. He leaned far out the window again. “Oh, thank you for listening! Goodnight!”

He leaned back and grinned at Dedue. “How’s that?”

Dedue felt a smile spread over his lips, his eyebrows drawing together as he shook his head. Only Ashe could sound so sincere and yet so carefree. “It’s perfect.”

Ashe shrugged his shoulders up to his ears, his blush even brighter than before. Then he looked at Dedue, determination in his eyes. “Hey, uh… I was thinking… I noticed no one asked you to dance, earlier.”

Dedue blinked at him. No, no one had. He hadn’t noticed really, mostly because he didn’t want to dance. But now Ashe was reaching his hand out to him. “Do you want to try? I’m… not the best at it, but… it could be fun.”

Dedue looked up and met Ashe’s gaze. The pale skin under his eyes was still red and raw from crying earlier. His smile was shy, his cheeks were warm. Even like this, vulnerable and messy, he still was a child of Sothis, more vibrant than the moon that shone over him. “I… don’t know how,” Dedue admitted, for once feeling vulnerable himself.

Ashe’s smile softened, and he took a step closer to Dedue. “It’s okay. We don’t have to follow any rules. It’s just us.”

So Dedue nodded. He let Ashe take his hand, let Ashe lay it against his slight waist. Ashe led him into a dance that didn’t seem like it was from Fodlan or Duscur. It seemed like something all their own.

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from Superposition by Young the Giant, which is like. The anthem of this fic lolol.
> 
> Anyway, I wanted to wait until at least one more person posted in the tag, and technically someone did, so here you go, I'm not hogging the tag XD This one is titled "I can't stop writing from Dedue's perspective help" in my heart. I think I'm just so in love with Ashe, I wanna wax poetic about him 24/7 just like Dedue XD
> 
> This one might potentially have a post-timeskip sequel, sooooo? Lemme know if you guys would be into that~ As always, comments and kudos are deeply appreciated! Thank you so much for reading!


End file.
